My son could have been Momless....the Pulmonary Emobolism

When you are the type of person who shrugs off the majority of aches and pains as every day life, a truly horrible sickness doesn't even seem to penetrate the layers of your mind for what it is.

That happened to me. I have pretty much written off aches and pains, issues with my C-section scar and other physical issues into the categories "Not that Bad" or "Getting Older". So when I got a leg cramp in my calf that lasted several days, I just thought I pulled a muscle and then it went away. About 2 weeks later it came back and I figured I just pulled another muscle. It was my right calf muscle and the pain was reminiscent of the pain right before I have gotten a charlie horse in the past. That was on a Wednesday.

The next evening my husband, trying to be helpful, suggested keeping it elevated and putting it on a heating pad. I tried that and it seemed to help (even if I did get overly hot and I breathed a little heavy), so I took the pad to bed with me too. On Friday every chance I got, I had my leg up on the heating pad. I was doing laundry so I did have to go up and down the stairs and I thought at the time that I was starting to get a little out of breath, almost as if I had ran up 4 flights instead of 1, and I blamed it on the fact that I was a fat smoker.

On Saturday I got worse as the day progressed. My leg felt better, but my breathing was bad. Walking from one end of our hall to the other (about 30ft.) it was like I had just speed walked for 3 blocks. By the end of the night, I was so out of breath from picking up Jonathan's toys (the repetitive bending over), that I couldn't do more that say yes or no as I was talking to my mom since I didn't want to freak her out. I put Jonathan in the bathtub right before picking up his toys, so I was still recovering form that when I had to again bend over to get his bath toys out of the tub, then bend back over to open the plug and get him out. I then walked out of the bathroom and 10 feet to the changing table in his room and I had to rest there with my head on the edge. I was sweating and had barely enough energy to stay upright. Jonathan rubbed my head while I regained enough strength to dry him and put on both a onesie and a diaper. I almost dropped him trying to carry him 10 feet. That was the moment I started to get worried that something was wrong with me. When I went to bed, I just prayed that I would wake up.

Chris had to work Saturday night, so I tried to keep myself busy and hope that my breathing would get better so that he could get a little sleep. I knew that I was probably going to the hospital and since the last time I was in (having Jonathan) I didn't get a shower for 4 days, I made sure I took one and shaved before Jonathan got up. I got his breakfast ready and got him up. I barely made it the 3 steps from his crib to the changing table, and then across the hall to our room. I started crying and woke Chris up. He fed Jonathan and called his mom to come take care of the baby while I tried to calm down as the crying was making it nearly impossible to breathe.

We went to the emergency room and after some blood work, and EKG, chest xrays and a CT scan, the discovered several blood clots in my lungs. I had Pulmonary Emboli, which is multiple Pulmonary Embolisms . They told us that the # was so extensive (they had been traveling to my lungs since Wed most likely) that if we had waited until that evening that we would have more than likely had to call 911 and it would have been iffy if I would have made it.

I was told that I would go to the ICU and that I would have a reg Dr, a Pulmonary Specialist, a Vascular Dr., and a Cardiologist because the fact that I was having difficulty breathing was putting a lot of added strain on my heart. My experience in the ICU was HORRIBLE!!! It was depressing since most of the people that were there were intubated or comatose. First off I was bedridden because they wanted to keep the remaining clots in my leg where they were so they would travel to my heart, brain or lungs. So, I had the choice of a catheter or a bed pan-that is like giving me the choice of dog poop or human poop for dinner-I mean really.....

Then they decided that one IV line wasn't enough so I needed another one. They then proceeded to spend 30 minutes trying to find a vein by the process of sticking a needle into my hand/arm/elbow and then moving the needle around like they were digging for gold. I cried the entire time. They finally had to use an ultrasound machine to fine my vein. Apparently I have bad veins because the blood draw people that came every 4 hrs had to poke me at least 3 times, then jab around for that elusive gold under my skin as well. I was bruised all over and now for the first time that I can remember I was scared of needles. I then got to have to pleasure of adding bruises on my stomach by getting 2 shots a day of a super blood thinner.

I was told by the ER Dr., quit smoking or die. I was told by the Pulmonary Dr., quit taking birth control or die. I was told by the Cardiologist, loose weight or die. The funny thing is, those are direct quotes, not just my summarizing what they said.

Right before I got out of the ICU I got what was called a PICC line and it made my day!!! It is kinda like a central line that is about as big around as spaghetti, and it goes into the bicep area. The line is about 16" and stops just an inch or so away from the heart. They use these valves for drawing blood and for any IV's.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Needs to be rotated 90* clockwise. This is what my PICC line looked like.

The lady that did my line told me that A-the nurses should have used a baby IV with the smaller needle instead of poking me all over, and B-they are all trained to give a shot that is a local which would have made all of the poking MUCH less painful. She is the only one that does these at the 3 Promedica Hospitals here and she trained all of the nurses. Needless to say I wanted to smack some people.

I was moved on Monday, and allowed to use the bathroom and then on Tuesday I was allowed to shower!! I was in there until Wed, but after the first day or so, it wasn't very eventful. Just a lot of blood tests to determine if my blood was thin enough, 2 shots a day in the stomach, another EKG, a leg dopplar and that's about it. It was Monday that it hit me-I COULD'VE FREAKIN DIED!!! Once this hit me like a ton of bricks, I cried. A lot. I almost left my little boy without a mom. I have not taken any birth control since, have not had any cigarettes, and have started a diet and activity (only walking until my lungs are better) program with my Dr.

My Pulmonary Dr said my CT scan was "impressive" and by that he meant it was impressive I was still breathing at all. I had the most clots he'd seen in my lungs, and when he showed them to us, one looked like that blow up man that kinda looks like Gumbi that car dealerships tend to have. I now have to go to him for some studies since I had no triggers for the clots and it is a mystery. Yes I was a smoker using birth control pills, but I was younger than 35 and I hadn't been on any long trips or had a bent leg for an extended period of time-so no trigger.

There was argument with my treatment. The Vascular Dr wanted to give me a drug that would break up the clots in my lungs right away. The only problem was that if I had any clots in my brain or heart that weren't big enough to cause any issues, they would also explode and could cause issues. It could also create a brain bleed depending on where the clots were in my brain if indeed there were any. The problem with allowing my body to attack them in the natural progression of things, is that now for the rest of my life, because some of them were quite large, I will have the equivalent of scar tissue in each lung.

I am now on a blood thinner that was originally created as rat poison as it makes them bleed to death, and will be on something for the rest of my life. I will have to wait and see what they put me on to know if we can ever have a sibling for Jonathan. I will always be high risk for blood clots. I will always have bad lungs now. But, I am alive and I can live life with my son and husband.

I have learned to not take something so trivial as breathing for granted and find myself taking deep breaths occasionally just because I can. One of my favorite scents is the smell of the leaves falling in the autumn and I can't wait to relish that soon.