Bath time fun

So, as I am sure a majority of parents can agree with me, bath time is a nightly adventure that is generally looked forward to.

For my son it tends to boost his creativity from putting a hollow pink cylinder in his mouth and looking like a pig, to pretending to read his water book.

Jonathan's latest bath time super fun activity is to fill whatever is in the tub with water and dump it over the edge. That means we now have a towel along the floor at the edge of the tub that is usually soaked by the time we are done.

We then like to let go and drop the toy so we can bend over and get it. Why this is fun, I truly have no idea. It seems like it would hurt to stretch that far over the side of the tub!

Then if we can't reach it, we cry until Mommy reaches down and tosses it back in the tub for us to do all over again.

There have been two times though that scared the bejesus out of me when he reached so far over the tub, that he fell out onto his head and/or neck and started crying. I was sitting right there and it happened too fast for me to catch him. Admittedly, he only really fell a couple of inches, but still!! So I grabbed him and ,the two of us now soaked, walked around with him until he calmed down enough to get ready for bed.

Most of the time it is a fun time for us to experiment with different sounds and swim around, splashing water onto the sides of the tub.

However, tonight was a night that all parents dread. Jonathan started to get a little fussy, so I started to reach into the bubble laden water to retrieve his toys and open the valve to release the water. I reached my hand through the thick bubbles, and grabbed dookie. That's right POOP!!! I was pretty grossed out and yelled for Chris to help me.

This picture from Sunday-not tonight:)

This has happened a couple of times, but I have NEVER grabbed it!! Chris came in and got Jonathan out of the water and rinsed him off really well. I took all of his toys and put them in the kitchen sink with some bleach and then put them in the dishwasher with the sanitize cycle on. The best part of all this was the little turd laughing while I am yucking out!!!

Welcome to parenthood......

He loves to do baby pull ups!!

First swim class started as a loss......

We were gifted a family membership to the YMCA by our house. I am taking 3 classes - which all in all ends up being a class every day of the week. After I get these all situated and worked into my schedule for a couple weeks, I will add in some weight training along with walking a mile on the yoga days.

PS-I recommend yoga for EVERY parent out there.

We enrolled Jonathan in a baby swim class that is 30 mins long on Wed night. I was so excited!!

Well, it didn't go so well. First of all, we had a busy day this last Wednesday and all the running around might have made him a little cranky. Chris got him changed into his rubber pants and swim trunks while putting an easy on off outfit over top. While I was getting ready, he kept Jonathan occupied with some goldfish and bouncing. As I hurried around and put on my shoes I heard "Uh Oh".

Chris looked at me, his eyes large, and said that his leg just got really really warm. Of course Jonathan had peed all over his leg, so we had to change his outfit again and get him in the car so Chris could get his pants off and we could get to our class.

Rushing the whole time to get checked in, changed and find our class, I was stressed out by the time we joined the other parents. I think my energy might have fed Jonathan because he started crying after about 2 mins in the water.

My heart broke as I watched my son cry and try to hold onto my bare skin. If he was in pain or if there was something actually wrong I would have gotten out of the pool immediately, but he was just not comfortable in his environment which is not in itself a reason to retreat.

So I tried to turn a mommy fail into a mommy score. I walked around the pool with him and didn't force him to do things that I knew he wouldn't even attempt. Instead we did things like ring around the rosie and wanting to capture the bath animals in the pool.

After about 15 mins, he stopped crying and started just taking everything in. It helped that there was a young lady lifeguard that he was flirting with. He was still attached to me almost like another appendage, but I wanted to pump my fist in the air at the progress that signaled.

By the end of class he was smiling at the teacher and the lifeguard assigned to our class (they do that for child's swim classes-assign a lifeguard to just that class in addition to the pool lifeguards), so I am really hoping that our class this next week might be better.

XXXX (crossing my fingers and toes)

Is that fat lady in that picture really me?

After the episode in the hospital recently, I was told that I needed to loose weight. Like I haven't heard that from just about everyone I have ever met in my life. It didn't really resonate until I saw pictures of myself at Jonathan's birthday.

I was mortified.

I wondered how I had let it become that bad. I wondered why my husband is even still with me. I now wonder if that is why some things have been deemed not that important. I wondered how I have become so blind.

You lie to yourself and say "I'm not really that big". When you see other fat people you think that you aren't and could never be their size. Then you see something that brings the real world into focus.
I am sure I am not the only fat person to rationalize the lbs that I put on or the weight I see on the scale. There is always a reason for any extra, and/or a plan to loose weight. You are big boned....the people in your family are heavy.....you are bloated.....you had a baby....I know I have. And it was of course never my fault.

When you are fat and you go to the Dr, it seems that they spend almost as much time talking to you about losing weight as they do the reason that you are actually there. All you ever hear is that if you just lost some weight, you wouldn't have this issue, or that issue. Because you are fat you are at a higher risk for practically EVERY disease out there. Unfortunately the manner in which most Drs do this makes you feel the opposite of what I am sure they intended.

Fat people are treated differently. We are often thought of as lazy, disgusting people with no self control. We are looked over when we are out with others, as if we aren't worthy of peoples time. We always take the back seat to our thinner friends.

Have I sometimes resented them just a little for that? I am ashamed to admit that yes I have.

When I was younger, ever boy I had a crush on seemed to fall for one of my friends while I stood by on the sidelines. Maybe part of that was also my lack of self confidence. I found some of that in my early 20s, but I feel as if I am losing it again.

I am through making excuses and plan to get back some of that which has made me who I am at my core. I need to get back the fight, the fire and the me that I lost. I miss that me part.....

1st Bday and 12 month update - about a month late:(

I cannot believe that I forgot to post about Jonathan's first birthday and his 12 mos accomplishments!! I am such a BAD MOMMY!!!

First of all, the info is as of his Bday.
Teeth-8

Not yet walking on his own, but walking around the coffee table and down the length of the couch.

Doing the frog crawl all over the house

Just learned to clap

Words-Mama, Dada, Baba
Height-29 inches
Weight-18lbs., 11oz.
Finger food-Carrots, Peas, cheerios, goldfish, oreo crisps, animal crackers, graham crackers, puffies, pancakes
Sticks everything in his mouth and smells everything

As for his party, it was a Sesame Street theme.

 We had BBQ chicken, baked beans, macaroni salad, and potato salad. We all had a wonderful time. His guests were:
Grandmas Janice & Cindy
Grandpa Tom, Aunt Sammy, Uncle Tommy
Aunt Dee and cousin Preston
Aunt Christy
Uncle John
Jan & Linda

I am such a nerd, that I made him a onesie;) It isn't all that great though and I promised to try and do better next year.

 

 

Instead of making a cake, we (my mom and I) made strawberry filled chocolate cupcakes with strawberry icing. We iced Jonathan's in chocolate thought of course;)

Candles done with his name

Are all those for me? GIMME!!

DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

He grabbed his cake with both hands, squished it and then just looked at me. I had to put a hand in his mouth to taste, then he went to town and GRUBBED almost the while cake!!

It was so cute-we sang Happy Bday then we helped him to blow out his candles. He had a tiny little 1 candle on his cupcake (forgot to get a darn pic!!) and his name spelled out in other tiny candles on toothpick like sticks. After we blew out the candles we all popped the paper party poppers which he loved!!

Everyone had fun and left happy and full.

The Best Laid Plans

What was supposed to be a fun family moment, turned into the good old "keep the baby happy" trip....

Last year, shortly after bringing Jonathan home from the hospital, my mom and I took him to a pumpkin patch & cider mill not far from where we lived. He pretty much just napped in the stroller, but we popped him out now and then to take some pictures. We all had a great time!

The cutest pumpkin in the patch

Well, since Chris missed out last year, he was looking forward to going this year. Chris had to work part of the day and the pumpkin patch is not easy to get to-ie. no freeways - just surface streets, so after driving for almost 45 minutes (since it was rush hour) we arrived at the patch. The first sign that should've alerted us as to the tone of this trip was that we forgot the stroller.

Chris carried Jonathan for the first part and we looked in the little market before heading out to the barn. That was where the kids area, goats & chickens, and pumpkins were located along with the pickup spot for the hayrides. I remembered the ground just being grass, so we didn't bother to put any shoes on Jonathan.

Mommy was WRONG once again:( A large portion of the ground was covered in straw, especially in the barn.

Part of the point of the trip was to replicate the same pictures we took last year. I thought that would be a cute idea. Well, in theory I guess it was. In reality, we went to take the first picture, set his feet down on a straw bale behind the pumpkin and all heck broke loose in the form of tears and howling.

So we got one good picture.

All the rest are in the following tear ridden category, and he certainly wouldn't allow us to set him down to get anymore pictures.

I guess we will just look forward to next year and hope he enjoys it better. I am sure that in a few years we will look back on the pictures we took and laugh about the day. We also learned an important lesson. ALWAYS put shoes of some sort on him when we leave the house or at the very least bring them with us.

The Baby Mullet

I am a bad mom. I refuse to get my baby's hair cut since it is just a little long in the back, and now he has the dreaded baby mullet. Am I the only mom in history who will not admit that their little bundle of joy is now a drooling, crawling, sometimes downright ornery little person?

My husband and I have argued, and I did get the scissors out and trim a smidge around his ears. I however refuse to take him for a big boy haircut yet.

Sorry, I don't have a pic of the back.

See, it isn't that long yet.

Maybe if his hair was thicker, but it is so fine that I feel like he is already half bald! Couple that with the fact that he has 2 cowlicks on the crown of his head, and one in the front and the poor kid doesn't have a chance. 

My son could have been Momless....the Pulmonary Emobolism

When you are the type of person who shrugs off the majority of aches and pains as every day life, a truly horrible sickness doesn't even seem to penetrate the layers of your mind for what it is.

That happened to me. I have pretty much written off aches and pains, issues with my C-section scar and other physical issues into the categories "Not that Bad" or "Getting Older". So when I got a leg cramp in my calf that lasted several days, I just thought I pulled a muscle and then it went away. About 2 weeks later it came back and I figured I just pulled another muscle. It was my right calf muscle and the pain was reminiscent of the pain right before I have gotten a charlie horse in the past. That was on a Wednesday.

The next evening my husband, trying to be helpful, suggested keeping it elevated and putting it on a heating pad. I tried that and it seemed to help (even if I did get overly hot and I breathed a little heavy), so I took the pad to bed with me too. On Friday every chance I got, I had my leg up on the heating pad. I was doing laundry so I did have to go up and down the stairs and I thought at the time that I was starting to get a little out of breath, almost as if I had ran up 4 flights instead of 1, and I blamed it on the fact that I was a fat smoker.

On Saturday I got worse as the day progressed. My leg felt better, but my breathing was bad. Walking from one end of our hall to the other (about 30ft.) it was like I had just speed walked for 3 blocks. By the end of the night, I was so out of breath from picking up Jonathan's toys (the repetitive bending over), that I couldn't do more that say yes or no as I was talking to my mom since I didn't want to freak her out. I put Jonathan in the bathtub right before picking up his toys, so I was still recovering form that when I had to again bend over to get his bath toys out of the tub, then bend back over to open the plug and get him out. I then walked out of the bathroom and 10 feet to the changing table in his room and I had to rest there with my head on the edge. I was sweating and had barely enough energy to stay upright. Jonathan rubbed my head while I regained enough strength to dry him and put on both a onesie and a diaper. I almost dropped him trying to carry him 10 feet. That was the moment I started to get worried that something was wrong with me. When I went to bed, I just prayed that I would wake up.

Chris had to work Saturday night, so I tried to keep myself busy and hope that my breathing would get better so that he could get a little sleep. I knew that I was probably going to the hospital and since the last time I was in (having Jonathan) I didn't get a shower for 4 days, I made sure I took one and shaved before Jonathan got up. I got his breakfast ready and got him up. I barely made it the 3 steps from his crib to the changing table, and then across the hall to our room. I started crying and woke Chris up. He fed Jonathan and called his mom to come take care of the baby while I tried to calm down as the crying was making it nearly impossible to breathe.

We went to the emergency room and after some blood work, and EKG, chest xrays and a CT scan, the discovered several blood clots in my lungs. I had Pulmonary Emboli, which is multiple Pulmonary Embolisms . They told us that the # was so extensive (they had been traveling to my lungs since Wed most likely) that if we had waited until that evening that we would have more than likely had to call 911 and it would have been iffy if I would have made it.

I was told that I would go to the ICU and that I would have a reg Dr, a Pulmonary Specialist, a Vascular Dr., and a Cardiologist because the fact that I was having difficulty breathing was putting a lot of added strain on my heart. My experience in the ICU was HORRIBLE!!! It was depressing since most of the people that were there were intubated or comatose. First off I was bedridden because they wanted to keep the remaining clots in my leg where they were so they would travel to my heart, brain or lungs. So, I had the choice of a catheter or a bed pan-that is like giving me the choice of dog poop or human poop for dinner-I mean really.....

Then they decided that one IV line wasn't enough so I needed another one. They then proceeded to spend 30 minutes trying to find a vein by the process of sticking a needle into my hand/arm/elbow and then moving the needle around like they were digging for gold. I cried the entire time. They finally had to use an ultrasound machine to fine my vein. Apparently I have bad veins because the blood draw people that came every 4 hrs had to poke me at least 3 times, then jab around for that elusive gold under my skin as well. I was bruised all over and now for the first time that I can remember I was scared of needles. I then got to have to pleasure of adding bruises on my stomach by getting 2 shots a day of a super blood thinner.

I was told by the ER Dr., quit smoking or die. I was told by the Pulmonary Dr., quit taking birth control or die. I was told by the Cardiologist, loose weight or die. The funny thing is, those are direct quotes, not just my summarizing what they said.

Right before I got out of the ICU I got what was called a PICC line and it made my day!!! It is kinda like a central line that is about as big around as spaghetti, and it goes into the bicep area. The line is about 16" and stops just an inch or so away from the heart. They use these valves for drawing blood and for any IV's.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Needs to be rotated 90* clockwise. This is what my PICC line looked like.

The lady that did my line told me that A-the nurses should have used a baby IV with the smaller needle instead of poking me all over, and B-they are all trained to give a shot that is a local which would have made all of the poking MUCH less painful. She is the only one that does these at the 3 Promedica Hospitals here and she trained all of the nurses. Needless to say I wanted to smack some people.

I was moved on Monday, and allowed to use the bathroom and then on Tuesday I was allowed to shower!! I was in there until Wed, but after the first day or so, it wasn't very eventful. Just a lot of blood tests to determine if my blood was thin enough, 2 shots a day in the stomach, another EKG, a leg dopplar and that's about it. It was Monday that it hit me-I COULD'VE FREAKIN DIED!!! Once this hit me like a ton of bricks, I cried. A lot. I almost left my little boy without a mom. I have not taken any birth control since, have not had any cigarettes, and have started a diet and activity (only walking until my lungs are better) program with my Dr.

My Pulmonary Dr said my CT scan was "impressive" and by that he meant it was impressive I was still breathing at all. I had the most clots he'd seen in my lungs, and when he showed them to us, one looked like that blow up man that kinda looks like Gumbi that car dealerships tend to have. I now have to go to him for some studies since I had no triggers for the clots and it is a mystery. Yes I was a smoker using birth control pills, but I was younger than 35 and I hadn't been on any long trips or had a bent leg for an extended period of time-so no trigger.

There was argument with my treatment. The Vascular Dr wanted to give me a drug that would break up the clots in my lungs right away. The only problem was that if I had any clots in my brain or heart that weren't big enough to cause any issues, they would also explode and could cause issues. It could also create a brain bleed depending on where the clots were in my brain if indeed there were any. The problem with allowing my body to attack them in the natural progression of things, is that now for the rest of my life, because some of them were quite large, I will have the equivalent of scar tissue in each lung.

I am now on a blood thinner that was originally created as rat poison as it makes them bleed to death, and will be on something for the rest of my life. I will have to wait and see what they put me on to know if we can ever have a sibling for Jonathan. I will always be high risk for blood clots. I will always have bad lungs now. But, I am alive and I can live life with my son and husband.

I have learned to not take something so trivial as breathing for granted and find myself taking deep breaths occasionally just because I can. One of my favorite scents is the smell of the leaves falling in the autumn and I can't wait to relish that soon.

I simply can't believe how time flies!! I feel like I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off all the time!!LOL Always doing things w/Bubbie and getting things settled in the new house, running errands, cleaning-it never seems to end...

The little Mr has been getting into all kinds of trouble lately!!;) I came in the living room the other day and found him on the floor with the door to the entertainment center open and DVD's all over the place. I just had to laugh at my own shear stupidity for not realizing he would be into it pretty soon. A couple of days after that, I found him on the floor with one of Ruby's dog bones in his mouth!! I kinda wish I had gotten a pic of that one to be truthful with ya;)

We had our 9 mos Dr. appt. and he was SHOCKED to see that we already have 6 teeth!! Jonathan only gained 1 lbs and 4 oz, so he is a little small for his age, but he gained 3.25" so he is now 27.25"-he is a tall little guy!! His head is huge (70th percentile) - we are always picking about it and crackin lines from 'So I Married an Ax Murderer with Micheal Meyer and if you've seen it you know which lines I am taking about. If you haven't seen it-shame on YOU!! The Dr. was also surprised at how social he is. He was laughing and smiling and interacting and just having himself a grand old time!! I was just relieved it wasn't a shot visit!!

We are finally sitting up well enough to get into the regular bathtub for baths which means my kitchen stays cleaner. Here is a pic from his last bath in the kitchen sink.

I just plopped the towel I had been using to mop up the water he'd splashed onto the counters on his head and he thought that was HILARIOUS;)

Jonathan has graduated to solids-he is eating the puffy baby food and we have tried eggs (which made him sick) and will try some other things soon. We are also eating meat with our dinners as well and enjoy that immensely!! I knew he'd be a carnivore:)

We are going on vacay to the beach, but will surely post details and pics as soon as we get back!!

Chris's first Father's Day

I had the hardest time coming up with something unique and cool for Jonathan to give Chris for Father's Day....but I think I found the perfect thing.

Yesterday Jonathan helped me make a sand impression project with his hand and foot prints. I got this: http://gifts.redenvelope.com/gifts/little-hands-impression-kit-30006954?viewpos=17&trackingpgroup=rbkps

I unpacked the box and was thrilled with the personalized plaque as well as the quality of the frame and frankly the instructions made it look pretty easy-almost dummy proof. Welllll......it wasn't that hard, but there are a couple of things that I seemed to have trouble with.

All in all It turned out well, except I packed the sand as I put it into the frame which made the print hard to make. It took us about 6 tries for each the hand and the foot, but my friend Maurissa and I persevered and got it done with a minimum of Bubbie crankiness.

They were right by saying that you should start with a happy child!! If he hadn't just been fed a snack I don't think there was anyway we could have gotten it done. I also didn't pack the sand around the edges well enough so there was some plaster leakage.

See the plaster on the lower left side?

It was an easy fix. I just used a knife to chip it away from the frame (it came off VERY easily) and then I put some glue along the edges to cover any white that was showing and covered that with sand. I am going to let that sit until tomorrow, and then dust off the extra.

The darker edges are the new sand.

I used super glue to hold the plaque just to make sure it would stick even though it has a sticky back and after it is all dry I will spray it with hairspray to hold it all on. I know they aren't perfect prints, but really, what would you expect form a 9 mos old. If I were to do this again I would do it with an older child. I sure hope Chris likes it since his other gift is a leaf blower!!LOL

I have to say I really liked the site though and plan to get Chris some of the golf stuff and personalized beer glasses for Xmas. If you need any Gift Ideas for Dad or any man (or person really), check out RedEnvelope.com.

PS-You can get 20% off by liking them on FB

Changes for the Better

OMG-things have been CRAZY!!! First of all we moved. We had a timeline when to be out of the other house and were all set to rent a house when the owners all of a sudden flaked out and stopped returning my calls. After a lengthy search, we were made an offer we couldn't refuse and with some help bought a different, much less expensive house. Our payments now are something we can afford on just Chris's income, so I will hopefully be less stressed out all the time. We are now in a split level house in a quiet cul-de-sac.

The move was the worst I have ever done. I found our house, and we put in out offer and waited for the bank to jerk around before accepting it. We then had to wait to close due the a title company that was slower than molasses in January!! We had 3 weeks to pack, get the work done to this house and move. With Chris not having a lot of time off during that, and mainly me packing while taking care of Jonathan and working on the house with the help of family when they could, it was a scramble.

Jade and Jonathan adjusted right away, Jonathan taking it in stride and Jade loving the fact that she can sit on the couch and attack anyone that comes up the stairs-it is pretty funny to watch her when she is in a mood. Ruby however, had a hard time adjusting. We had to rip out all of the carpet to get to decent shaped hardwood floors underneath (plus all the carpet had animal stains on it) and she was having a hard time with the stairs. We bought non slip stair treads and she seems to managing much better.

The house is set up with 3 bedrooms, the main bath, kitchen, dining room and living room on the upper floor, and 2 bedrooms, game room, 2nd bath and laundry/utility room on the lower level. So much better than the 2 story with basement we had before. There is a pool, but we need to have the lines tested to see if we can use it this year and next year we will need to re-plaster and re-tile it since it is a gunite pool, not a liner pool. I think in the long run, this will work much better for our needs. Plus, there isn't much yard for Chris to mow since all of the back is cement for the pool and the rest is landscaped with garden beds mainly with groundcover and rocks.

So on to the Bubbie update. It has been a good month for him and he has his 9 mos Dr. appt. in about 1 1/2 weeks. He is now sitting up without support!! That was huge for us as it is easier for him to play and entertain himself and easier for him to get a bath.

We have been spending time outside and he loves it!! He loves the sound of the leaves moving on the trees, the new texture of grass, the cars that go by-it seems that everything catches his attention. He has also discovered the enjoyment sticking out your tongue can bring;)

He has been making this face lately, sorry I don't have a pic, that looks like he is really PO'd and wants to give you a piece of his mind. It is hilarious. He has a couple of funny new behaviors as well. When he is upset, he likes to breath rapidly through his mouth, almost like he is a woman giving birth and breathing through a contraction-I crack up EVERY time and have to turn away to laugh since that is his response when he doesn't like hearing NO to something he is doing. His other thing he does just for grins and giggles is squinching up his face and breaths heavily though his nose. When we do it back to him he laughs like it is the most hilarious thing we have ever done.

He isn't crawling yet, but he seems to get around well with the scoot and roll method he has. I am not sure if he will really crawl or just go straight to walking. OOO-I almost forgot-he has his 2 top front teeth, so that makes 4 total. He got them within a day of each other and it looks like the teeth that border them are not far behind. I swear I think my mom is right and he will have enough teeth by his first Bday to have a steak dinner!!LOL

He is just growing up too fast. I can't believe he is almost 9 mos old!! When I see pics of him right after he was born, I can hardly believe it is the same boy!!

My mouth is thanking me!!

I was lucky enough to be asked to sample and then give a review of something delicious. I thought at first OK, lets see how good this stuff really is. When asked to give a review for Shari's Berries and asked what I wanted, I of course said Chocolate dipped Strawberries-I mean who in the world would turn those down right? I also got 3 mini cheesecakes-1 original, 1 white chocolate and 1 rocky road.
http://products.berries.com/flowers/12SwizzledCoveredStrawberries3MiniCheesecakes-30005063
I was a little hesitant since they were coming in the mail, but thought what the heck.

I got my shipment overnight and the ONLY complaint I have is that the UPS drivers here don't ring the doorbell when they leave you a package, so I had no idea of when it was delivered or how long it sat on my porch. I don't think it was too long though since I was anxiously keeping an eye out for this box. Completely out of the companies control. I brought the box inside and could barely contain myself enough to not rip the box to shreds so that I could get to the treats inside.

My husband would have laughed at me because the first thing I saw after opening the box and taking off the top layer of Styrofoam was the 2 ice packs they had used to keep the food cold. I thought "sweet-a bonus of ice packs to help keep my formula and baby food cold while out and about" and popped those puppies right in the freezer. I know, I know, I am a hue nerd to get so excited over ice packs, but we only have a couple so I was enormously pleased. The next thing I found was a coupon for my next order - now I ask, who does not LOVE coupons?? And what mom doesn't need them for everything?

I took out the 3 boxes with my yummies in them and opened them right away. I was BLOWN AWAY!! The strawberries were as big as Jonathan's fist if not larger and so juicy that the papers under them were tinged pink. The mini cheesecakes were almost too precious for words.

See the pink tinged papers beneath the berries?

I think these were strawberries must have been grown with genes spliced from football players or something considering the size!! Here is one next to Jonathan's sippy cup for a comparison.

The darn berry is half the size of the cup!!

The cheesecakes are about the size around of the bottom of a coffee cup and about 2" tall-so perfect for a one serving portion. I guess you could share it if you really wanted, but come on, who are we kidding. As soon as I snapped the above pics, I took a berry out and bit into it. I SWEAR my eyes almost rolled back in my head it was so good! It was sweet and juicy and the chocolate was the perfect flavor companion. All of my taste buds sat up and started singing in thanks for the delicious treat.

I have to honestly say that I would indeed order from them in the future. I think this is perfect for presents for those people that I have in my life (and I am sure others do too) that seem to have everything. I order a lot of stuff like this for my grandparents and for little just because things. I ordered something similar to this for a friend a few years back who was fighting cancer. She needed the calories of the treats I sent and they made her happy. Just to know that I was thinking of her and wanted to give her something special made all the difference for her.

They have a wide variety from just Strawberries Covered in Chocolate, to cherries, cookies, brownie pops (which I have had before and are wonderful) cheesecakes, apples and more. I thought maybe for next mothers day I would send my mom the flower/berry combo. How can you go wrong with that?

Psst-I did get a discount code for anyone who wants to try them. If you type in BERRYGOOD you can get a 15% discount. If that isn't enough, like them here on FB and get an instant 20% discount!!

If anyone does try them, be sure to let me know if you loved them as much as I did!!

No post would be complete without a Bubbie pic;) He is drinking out of the same sippy cup (just a different color) as the pic above.

The Sweet Moments

I think that in life we all tend to overlook the little moments that make getting up in the morning worth it and instead rush from place to place and mentally check things off in our minds. I know I myself have been guilty of this a lot and I am trying to make a conscious effort to savor the sweet moments in each day that make them all worth it when I collapse in bed exhausted.

I had one of those moments last night that in turn made me think about the others in my recent memory. Jonathan was sitting in the bath tub playing with his octopus and I asked him if he was a happy baby. He looked up at me and smiled that wide mouthed, happy, toothless baby smile that melts my heart each time.

I thought about how my mom had driven up to spend Easter weekend with us and while she fed him, I watched and listened to the sounds of Grandma and Grandson enjoying the simple task of a meal more enthusiastically than most people will ever experience. It may have been that they were simply enjoying each others company, or that they were both trying to make the most out of a painfully short visit.

I remembered about a night a week or so ago when it was just me at bath time with Jonathan and how when I was trying to burp him, he turned his head, looked at me and smiled with love in his eyes. He then leaned towards me for a kiss and my right cheek was engulfed in the sweet slobber of my beautiful son. I used to think baby spit was disgusting....now I relish each and every time I am slobbered on in an attempt by Jonathan to give his mommy a kiss.

I thought about how sometimes Jonathan will look at me as if studying the features of my face. Then he will either lay his hand on my cheek, gently cupping it in his tiny palm, or he will reach up and tentatively touch my hair as if testing the texture. Admittedly, sometimes he gets his hand caught in the strands and it pulls, but most of time he just touches it.

The way he finds the simplest and sometimes the most ridiculous things hilarious, enjoying them with the glee that we tend to loose as we grow up. Those things tend to change more rapidly than the weather, but his current funny is when we look at him and give a fake sneeze. We say an exaggerated ACHOOO and he laughs like we are highly paid comedians.

I think my two favorite things though are his high pitched squeal of delight for which I have no reason as to why he has made the sound at that moment and the sound of him and Chris playing together before bathtime. their combined laughter and joy is a balm to my soul.

Like I said, I know I am as guilty of it as everyone else, but I am trying to take the time to savor these sweet moments that the trials and stress of the day melt away, even if only for a few precious minutes. I hope that everyone who reads this takes the time to do the same. You can never get these days and these moments back and no two will ever be exactly the same.

My impression of "The Thinker"

Feelings-right or wrong, we can not control them, only the actions they provoke

I thought I knew what love was.

I mean, I love my family, I love my mom, I love my husband, I love my in-laws, and I love my friends, so I knew what to expect when I had Jonathan in regard to how I would feel about him right?

WRONG

The love you feel for your own child is completely different than any other you have ever felt. And much to my husband's denial, I think a Mother's love is more potent. The fact that you shared your body with that child for almost a year gives you a special connection that you will never have with another being.

My love for Jonathan is all-encompassing and at times overwhelming. It is so powerful that I can't imagine even a class 5 hurricane coming close to the strength of my feelings. It is hard to imagine even having these types of emotions for another child and if I did, it seems as if my heart would have to physically become larger to hold it all.

When I look at him I don't see his flaws - like the fact that his skull hasn't shaped roundly yet because of the preference he has for sleeping facing one direction. I only see the perfection of the little boy in my arms, that I could now not fathom my life without.

I think back to my pregnancy.

My disbelief that I was indeed pregnant until after going to the Dr. Thinking it was still a mistake until that first OB appt. when we saw our "little peanut" on the ultrasound.

The worry EVERY time time I went to my monthly OB visits, afraid that the heartbeat I so looked forward to hearing, would be gone. The cold sweat I broke into at one appt. when it took her a few minutes to locate that heartbeat.

The guilt I felt when we were told there was a pee pee in the ultrasound after being disappointed that we weren't' having a girl. I felt those twin emotions until he was delivered and then I couldn't imagine loving a little girl any more than I loved that little boy with all that curly hair.

The relief I felt when he come out 7 weeks early and cried right away. The sense of loss that I felt not being able to hold him in the delivery room, every mother's right, because I had too much anesthesia in my system and I couldn't feel anything from my neck down.

The helplessness I felt seeing my son in the NICU and not being able to "make it better". I mean, isn't that was a mother is supposed to do for their child? The "what could I have done better" questions every single time I walked down the hallway too and from Jonathan's room at Toledo Children's Hospital.

The guilt I felt for feeling lucky about the fact that we had nurses to help us with his care in the beginning when we knew nothing about babies and when I was healing from the surgery.Lucky should have been the last thing that I felt when my son was hooked up to monitoring wires and getting his food through a tube that went in through his nose, and down into his belly.

The relief , backhanded with shame, I felt one morning when I heard that a couple had lost their twins during the night and thanked a higher power that it wasn't Chris and I grieving the loss of our child.

The red hot seething anger I felt when I called one morning close to the end and was told that a nurse, who was too lazy to take a few extra minutes, put a feeding tube in Jonathan (who had been without one for 3 days). It was a good thing she wasn't there when I got to the hospital.

The choking fear I felt when we packed him up to bring him home. Would I be a good mother? Would I know what to do? Who would I have to ask questions to about things I didn't know or wasn't sure about? What if I screwed up?

I think I loved Jonathan from the moment the test results showed positive, even if I didn't know it. And I think that love is what evoked the feelings I had, right or wrong, when it came to him.

Finally, sleeping in the crib

When we first brought Jonathan home, he wouldn't sleep more than an hour or so in the crib. It was very frustrating, but we figured out within the first night that it was in large part due to the fact that it was so huge to him and for the 1st mos of his life he slept in a small plastic container that wasn't even large enough to roll over in. We immediately bought the Fisher Price Rock and  Play (even though we joked about Chris bringing home a lexan from work since it was almost the exact thing Jonathan had been sleeping in) and he started sleeping better the first time he was in it. We then purchased another so we could have one in his bedroom and one in the living room for his daytime naps because even though it was light and folded up for easy transport, carrying it and the baby up and down stairs was just too much of a PITA.

I love being snuggled in my Rock & Play

When we later found out that he had reflux, we remembered that in the hospital they often had him on an incline which helps with reflux. The Rock & Play has that as well so all was good.

Trying to get him to sleep in a crib has been a chore. We tried when he was about 3 mos old, putting a pillow at the base of his feet and some towels at the bottom of his legs to create the illusion of less space. That didn't work. Next a few weeks late, we kept the other stuff in and inclined the mattress some so that it wasn't totally flat. That didn't seem to work either. About a week or so ago we decided to give it another go since he is so squirmy and is growing out of the Rock & Play. It is technically good for up to 25lbs, but if he isn't already asleep he seems to turn all over the place and I am worried he is going to dump himself out of it.

Now in his crib he seems to like the space. Watching him in it is like watching a dog who goes outside and starts rolling around in the grass as if it were a large vat of pudding. He rolls this way and that, and moves around so much that I laugh when I go in to get him after his naps after seeing which weird position he ends up in.

A man's gotta have enough room in bed to roll around in.

Little Munchers

We have our first teeth!! Jonathan got his first tooth on 3/16 and then his second one right after it on 3/19!! I was so surprised as I expected them to come in a couple mos apart from each other. I don't have a pic of the teeth-have you ever tried to get a baby to open their mouth and let you see in there?? It isn't very easy and you run the risk of the sharp little shark teeth getting you!!LOL

YUMM-this foot is soooo delicious!!

It was funny-when we went to our 6 mos Dr appt, he said not to expect any teeth until he was about 8mos old since he is a preemie, so I didn't expect to get them mere days after the appt. I was surprised as all get out when he put my thumb in his mouth to chew on and I found a little muncher!! It is nice though since before they came in that kid generated enough drool to fill a pint glass!!LOL He was a little more fussy, but not too bad and I expected a LOT worse!! He chews on everything he can get his hands on-kinda reminds me of a puppy;) He still prefers to chew on anything material like his burp cloth (EWWW!), but has started to chew on some harder things too. His top teeth are coming down at a good pace, so I don't think it will be too long before we have more. He does think that teething rings are nothing but a joke-kinda looks at us like "you're kidding me right?" when we give him one or stick it in his mouth.

He has been getting a bath every night and has recently discovered the joy of peeing and watching mommy and daddy rush to get out of the way of his sprinkler action. He has also realized he has an additional body part and plays with his "little turtle" every time he gets a chance. I've been told he will grow out of it and I hope that is true-he just sees it as another body part to play with like his feet.

I suck

OMG-I can't believe it has been so long since I was last on. I knew I had been a bit behind, but not so far!! Well, I guess we can start with January. Lets see....I think the only major thing that happened was that he started eating solid food!!

I'm not sure I like this creamy white crap...(first time w/ cereal)

I am making my own baby food which is a little time consuming since I only do it like once a month, and I have not perfected the process on all foods yet, but I am glad he is eating things that don't have anything artificial on them. The first baby food maker I bought was a POS so I had to return it and then got the expensive Beaba from Ebay.

I think I am wearing as much as I ate;) (pic taken 3/23)

In February Jonathan learned how to grasp things and started holding his head up at a 90* angle from the ground. His eating got better and by then he had started on actual food instead of just cereal. He seems to like everything except the home made carrots and green beans. They are very hard to get non chuncky and I think the texture is what he doesn't like. Since processed green beans are bitter, I don't buy them, but I do get the carrots so he can have them. I don't want to delete something from his diet if he likes it just because I am not successful in making it so that he will eat it. We had to try 2X with both carrots and peas, but he liked everything else right off the bat with bananas and apples being his favorite food.

For his 5th mos pic, I just decided the one I took for Vday was close enough. The one I took on his actual Bday was not a good one.

YUMM!! My Valentines Bib tastes just like chocolate!!

In March he had his 6 mos Dr appt and everything is great. As of March 7th, he was 24" long, and 15lbs, 3oz. At the time of the appt. he was average for a 4 mos old and since that is his gestational age, then all is good. The chart they measure baby's progress on is adjusted for him being 7 weeks early.

In my opinion the cutest 6 mos pic I took:)

In March he also started sleeping though the night. At first it was only a couple of nights a week, but it has made it all the way to on average 6 days a week he sleeps through the night. There is still an odd night about once a week that he wakes up at 1am and let me tell you that both Chris and I hate that night. I am sure it is only a matter of time though until that fades away as well. About 1/2 way through the month he discovered how much more he could see while sitting up, so he has insisted on sitting up ever since. He still wobbles and falls over like in the pic (maybe he has a slightly enlarged right butt cheek or something), but he wants to get right back into sitting. I think it will be only a matter of time until he is an unsupported sitter. He decided shortly after our visit to the dr that he was going to start standing pretty much on his own. He locks his knees now and supports his own weight-we just have to hold him to help him balance.

Today is Jonathan's 7 mos Bday!!! April has already been a great month for him. He started passing things from hand to hand, and is VERY grabby now!! He wants everything even if he only holds it for a minute and then throws it away to reach for something else. He has been a little rolling machine and is trying like hell to crawl. He likes to roll so he ends up at a 90* angle from where I put him and his feet hit the buttons on the receiver for the TV-he changes the function to CD or radio and then laughs when I come in to fix it. He does what I call carpet swimming which is exactly as it sounds-looks like he is frog swimming on the carpet. When he tries to crawl he put his head and shoulders on the carpet and pushes with his legs so his face smashes across the carpet.

He is laughing and squealing a lot and both Chris and I LOVE the sound-it is the best in the world, even when I am getting up for his first bottle of the day and dead tired. He went to see the easter bunny yesterday and got his own set of ears, so I decided that would be his 7 mos. pic.

My Mommy says I am the cutest damn bunny in the whole world!! Psst-I think she's right;)